Maybe I donʻt hate self portraits...

after all...

Maybe I donʻt hate self portraits after all…

For my ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi course I had to record myself talking/teaching how to do something... because of what I had already been doing for my Art 101 class, I decided to just do a self portrait.

You can watch the whole thing here if youʻre interested in the kind of thing:

I learned a lot of the words I use for work and found it was actually really easy and fun to talk about what I do. It sparked joy. And honestly, lately? Not a whole lot sparks joy. Iʻm all blue and green, bruised and struggling to remember what I am doing and why.

This isnʻt to say everyone should pity me - hard pass. More so that itʻs okay to have spent the last five years in a constant upset. Itʻs okay to have buckled down and held on for dear life while life thrashed around and beat the hell out of you. And honestly? Just because something ultimately ends up "for you" doesnʻt mean it was okay. It just means that you are capable of making something out of anything and good for you. But I wish you never had to. I wish I never had to. I wish we could have grown up just laughing and playing in a small village where everyone cared for and looked out for us. I wish we could have spent our days working a little a living a lot. I wish we could have had ritual to keep us healthy instead of to keep us safe. I wish a lot of things, Iʻm blue and green with wishes.

Hereʻs to us and all the self portraits we hated until now.

xo

Malialani